Aliens have captured you, and placed you in one of their nature preserves. However, they have sorely miscalculated on two issues: The amount of calories needed to keep a persistence predator sated, and the lethality/brutality of a hangry human.
first alien scientist in hover car: i don’t understand, all these creatures thrived together in the original environment, why is it eating them to extinction here?
second alien scientist: maybe we should add more crayfish? it ate the whole population in one sitting, that was kind of a surprise.
me, without looking up from scraping a caribou hide: i can hear you, assholes.
alien scientists: (staring)
me: yeah, i learned your language. you keep sitting there talking about me like i can’t hear you, that’s gonna happen.
first scientist: fascinating. we knew you were arguably sentient, but… (making notes)
second scientist: why are you eating everything? your food requirement in your home environment was less than half this.
me: i didn’t have to catch it myself, you idiots! you yoinked me out of the middle of a camping trip! i bought all that food at a store! i bought my CLOTHES at a store. i bought my BEDDING at a store. I DID NOT HAVE TO KILL MY OWN TENT.
me, finally looking up, shaking a flint knife at them: what the hell kind of scientists could go to earth and not notice the dominant species lives in cities? did you just swoop by in a hurry and grab everything out of the park without looking?
me: … oh my god.
scientists: we’re grad students.
I need this as a film.
i propose aldis hodge as the camper
I love this. Kind of like an inverted Predator. I want to know more about this character and his flint knapping because that isn’t a usual skill. (And how he picked up the language and so on. I imagine him grumbling to himself as he tries to spell what he’s hearing phoenetically with a stick.)
EVERY WORD HERE ?????? IS TRUE. YOU ARE THAT FROG.
I too have no space to worry about USA, already very worried about Poland and Ecuador, thank goodness Canada is still somehow holding up, but I’m horrified how far you let it go. FIX IT NOW or you’ll be sorry – truer words were never spoken.
Beware of requests for compromise when you are asking for justice and the other side is asking for consent to continue.
Hey btw, another worldbuilding thing: You can, and actually should have weird and impractical cultural things. They’re not inherently unrealistic, for as long as you address the realistic consequences as well.
Let’s say you’ve got a city where there’s tame white doves everywhere. They’re not pests, they’re regarded as sacred, holy protectors of the city, and the whole city cares for them and feeds them like they’re pets. They’re so tame because it’s a social taboo to hurt or scare one. Nice pretty doves :)
Then someone points out that even if they’re not seen as pests, doesn’t having a completely unchecked feral pigeon population – that not only isn’t being culled, but actively fed and cared for – mean that there would be bird shit absolutely all over the place?
A part of you wants to say no, because these are your nice, pretty doves. To explain that there’s a reason why they’re not shitting all over the place, maybe they’re super-intelligent and specifically bred and trained to not shit all over the place. The logistics of how, exactly, could anyone breed and train a flock of feral birds go unaddressed.
An even worse solution would be to not have those birds, editing them out of the world. No, they spark joy, you can’t just toss them out!
Now, consider: Yes, yes they would, but the city also has an extensive public sanitation service that’s occupied 90% of the time by cleaning bird shit off of everything. One of the most common last names in the area actually translates to “one who scrapes off dove shit”, and it’s a highly respected occupation. And thanks to the sheer necessity of constantly regularly cleaning everything, the city enjoys a much higher standard of cleanliness, and less public health issues caused by poor public sanitation.
The doves do protect the city. By shitting fucking everywhere.
While I absolutely love your idea, I just want to say that you can easily reduce public bird shitting from Pigeons by offering them comfortable lodgings where they can sleep and feed. Sure, you need to clean THOSE, but the pigeons shit a lot less all over town.
The Augsburg concept has one big pigeon house every 500m in which wild pigeons are fed, protected from weather and have nesting opportunities. Cities doing that have WAY less uncontrolled populations (since they can take out eggs if they feel they need reduce the population), way less shit AND a healthy population since it’s easier for veterinarians to notice and get to sick animals.
So I’d say one can of course still keep your general idea……but there’s also those MASSIVE palace-like pidgeon houses and only the most worthy are allowed to enter and directly interact with the pigeons (feed them, heal them, clean their lodgings). One big entrance for the human servants (priests??) and millions of small holes for the pigeons.
In fact, one could potentially turn your idea around IN THE PIDGEONS FAVOR. So your world is like ours and most major cities have a big feral pigeon population. And most of those cities HATE the pigeons and try to fight them and stuff. And they think that pigeon worshipper town is frigging cuckoo. BUT when comparing, then pigeon worshipper town is ridiculously clean and beautiful. No bird shit everywhere, no ruined house facades and statues from erosion through bird poop.
Pigeon haters go “how tf are you so clean, you have birds EVERYWHERE???” and the worshippers shrug and show their little bird temples spread around town that keep their precious birdies AND their town pretty.
I think this is a really good example of how research can greatly improve your worldbuilding! You don’t have to be perfectly accurate – it is fantasy after all – but the real world is so much more clever and beautiful than any of us know
advice that’s stuck with me: you don’t have to work inwards to justify a premise (e.g., ‘how would it ever be plausible to use snakes as currency’) as long as you work outwards in interesting ways from that premise (e.g., ‘how would a society that used snakes as currency look different? what would they use for wallets?’)
Wait, did you choose snakes specifically as a reference to that time when people literally used snakes as currency, or what is a random example?
Sorry, that time what
I love when straight cis women try to make fun of my partners “childish”/“unmanly” hobbies like collecting lego and collectible figures, meanwhile their husbands literally collect assault rifles and weapons and tactical gear they’re too stupid to use properly and I could out shoot their sedentary clumsy goofy asses despite not having stepped in a shooting range in nearly a decade
NOT TO MENTION my partner’s hobbies are actually safe and fun and fucking awesome, and he tries to make me feel included in them but doesn’t pressure me, and his face is cute as fuck when he’s happy and watching him patiently interact with children in the Lego store gives me baby fever ? but have fun with your gun swinging paranoid prepper white boy who can’t cook an egg
My husband was belittled and bullied by all of his previous partners into quitting his favorite hobby, collecting hot wheels.
Shortly after we started dating a dear friend of mine who was a lifetime collector passed away, leaving me with his collection. When my now-husband helped me go through them he mentioned how he used to collect them with his father, and it broke my heart to hear the sadness in his voice as he talked about it.
I told him that my friend would have loved for his collection to go to someone who was just as passionate about them as he was rather than to an estate sale or on ebay.
The following Valentines day I bought him a hot wheels car with his other gift and he lit up like it was Christmas. From that point on it became just something we did together, digging through hot wheels bins and garage sales. I even have a small collection of Dino-themed hot wheels of my own!
Now he collects and customizes them, sells some to his friends in the hobby to support his “habit” as he calls it hahaha. He has over a thousand in his collection now, He even got into carpentry so that he could build display cases for them!
Anyway I love men, especially when they have hobbies that are “weird” or “childish”
If someone makes you ditch your “weird” or “childish” hobbies they don’t deserve to be in your life. Let them go back to their sad boring ways alone.
fuck fireworks season. I hate them. I hate it here. shut the fuck up with your explosives you assholes.
please listen to stellar firma it sucks in a very good way.
I’m getting so many podcast recommendations, please, my stupid little ears are not friends with my stupid little brain. They hear words and go ‘mmm, that’s language. Good luck with that.“
I keep subtitles on whenever I watch TV. Every attempt at an audiobook I’ve tried has failed. This is not a podcast household
Oh man, I’m the same. I do love looking at fanart, reading transcripts, and enjoying the ripple effects of podcasts! But regrettably, speech,
“A lot of native speakers are happy that English has become the world’s
global language. They feel they don’t have to spend time learning
another language,” says Chong.
“But… often you have a boardroom full of
people from different countries communicating in English and all
understanding each other and then suddenly the American or Brit walks
into the room and nobody can understand them.”
The non-native speakers, it turns out, speak more purposefully and
carefully, typical of someone speaking a second or third language.
Anglophones, on the other hand, often talk too fast for others to
follow, and use jokes, slang and references specific to their own
culture, says Chong. In emails, they use baffling abbreviations such as
‘OOO’, instead of simply saying that they will be out of the office.
“The native English speaker… is the only one who might not feel the need to accommodate or adapt to the others,” she adds.
I’ve been thinking about this post all day, and the article glosses over one important detail. All of the “native English speakers” the article mentions belong to the same niche demographic: white collar/corporate professionals
English corporate speak is it’s own fucked up dialect.
It’s so incomprehensible and exclusionary that even a native English speaker with a master’s degree in English will have difficulty parsing it. Trust me when I say that nobody who isn’t a business major knows what the fuck “synergy” means.
And the jargon’s just half the problem. The other half is the gross overuse of hobby-specific expressions and analogies.
Go to most corporate offices and you’ll be bombarded with sports analogies that only make sense to someone who spends all their free time watching ESPN.
I tracked down this quote I read in a tumblr post years ago:
“I remember working with a law school in which white men heavily dominated the faculty. They used lots of sports metaphors (doing an end run, Monday morning quarterbacking, and so on), with legal jargon thrown in for good measure. I suggested that this was not a particularly welcoming trait in their school, that in fact it was sexist, but they paid little attention. I made my point by speaking for about five minutes in dressmaking terms: putting a dart in here, a gusset there, cutting the budget on the bias so it would be more flexible, using a peplum to hide a course that might be controversial. The women in the room laughed; the men did not find it humorous….Language is power, make no mistake about it. It is used to include and exclude and to keep people and systems in their places.”
– Frances E. Kendall, Understanding White Privilege
My point is,
This kind of poor communication probably shouldn’t be blamed on monolingualism alone. It’s most certainly made worse by an exclusionary and elitist work culture.
You’ll probably encounter far fewer communication issues talking to a cashier at a tourist trap than you will talking to a lawyer or a stockbroker.
assuming it’s other people’s job to understand you, instead of your job to make yourself understood, is characteristic of people with unexamined and unchecked privilege.