I love when straight cis women try to make fun of my partners “childish”/“unmanly” hobbies like collecting lego and collectible figures, meanwhile their husbands literally collect assault rifles and weapons and tactical gear they’re too stupid to use properly and I could out shoot their sedentary clumsy goofy asses despite not having stepped in a shooting range in nearly a decade
NOT TO MENTION my partner’s hobbies are actually safe and fun and fucking awesome, and he tries to make me feel included in them but doesn’t pressure me, and his face is cute as fuck when he’s happy and watching him patiently interact with children in the Lego store gives me baby fever ? but have fun with your gun swinging paranoid prepper white boy who can’t cook an egg
My husband was belittled and bullied by all of his previous partners into quitting his favorite hobby, collecting hot wheels.
Shortly after we started dating a dear friend of mine who was a lifetime collector passed away, leaving me with his collection. When my now-husband helped me go through them he mentioned how he used to collect them with his father, and it broke my heart to hear the sadness in his voice as he talked about it.
I told him that my friend would have loved for his collection to go to someone who was just as passionate about them as he was rather than to an estate sale or on ebay.
The following Valentines day I bought him a hot wheels car with his other gift and he lit up like it was Christmas. From that point on it became just something we did together, digging through hot wheels bins and garage sales. I even have a small collection of Dino-themed hot wheels of my own!
Now he collects and customizes them, sells some to his friends in the hobby to support his “habit” as he calls it hahaha. He has over a thousand in his collection now, He even got into carpentry so that he could build display cases for them!
Anyway I love men, especially when they have hobbies that are “weird” or “childish”
If someone makes you ditch your “weird” or “childish” hobbies they don’t deserve to be in your life. Let them go back to their sad boring ways alone.
I’m getting so many podcast recommendations, please, my stupid little ears are not friends with my stupid little brain. They hear words and go ‘mmm, that’s language. Good luck with that.“
I keep subtitles on whenever I watch TV. Every attempt at an audiobook I’ve tried has failed. This is not a podcast household
Oh man, I’m the same. I do love looking at fanart, reading transcripts, and enjoying the ripple effects of podcasts! But regrettably, speech,
“A lot of native speakers are happy that English has become the world’s
global language. They feel they don’t have to spend time learning
another language,” says Chong.
“But… often you have a boardroom full of
people from different countries communicating in English and all
understanding each other and then suddenly the American or Brit walks
into the room and nobody can understand them.”
The non-native speakers, it turns out, speak more purposefully and
carefully, typical of someone speaking a second or third language.
Anglophones, on the other hand, often talk too fast for others to
follow, and use jokes, slang and references specific to their own
culture, says Chong. In emails, they use baffling abbreviations such as
‘OOO’, instead of simply saying that they will be out of the office.
“The native English speaker… is the only one who might not feel the need to accommodate or adapt to the others,” she adds.
I’ve been thinking about this post all day, and the article glosses over one important detail. All of the “native English speakers” the article mentions belong to the same niche demographic: white collar/corporate professionals
English corporate speak is it’s own fucked up dialect.
It’s so incomprehensible and exclusionary that even a native English speaker with a master’s degree in English will have difficulty parsing it. Trust me when I say that nobody who isn’t a business major knows what the fuck “synergy” means.
And the jargon’s just half the problem. The other half is the gross overuse of hobby-specific expressions and analogies.
Go to most corporate offices and you’ll be bombarded with sports analogies that only make sense to someone who spends all their free time watching ESPN.
I tracked down this quote I read in a tumblr post years ago:
“I remember working with a law school in which white men heavily dominated the faculty. They used lots of sports metaphors (doing an end run, Monday morning quarterbacking, and so on), with legal jargon thrown in for good measure. I suggested that this was not a particularly welcoming trait in their school, that in fact it was sexist, but they paid little attention. I made my point by speaking for about five minutes in dressmaking terms: putting a dart in here, a gusset there, cutting the budget on the bias so it would be more flexible, using a peplum to hide a course that might be controversial. The women in the room laughed; the men did not find it humorous….Language is power, make no mistake about it. It is used to include and exclude and to keep people and systems in their places.”
– Frances E. Kendall, Understanding White Privilege
My point is,
This kind of poor communication probably shouldn’t be blamed on monolingualism alone. It’s most certainly made worse by an exclusionary and elitist work culture.
You’ll probably encounter far fewer communication issues talking to a cashier at a tourist trap than you will talking to a lawyer or a stockbroker.
assuming it’s other people’s job to understand you, instead of your job to make yourself understood, is characteristic of people with unexamined and unchecked privilege.
Today, on this fateful day in sex ed, I have to teach 25 9th graders how to put condoms on wooden dicks without losing my composure. Wish me luck lmao
Now to find a way to discreetly transport this entire drawer to the other side of the building…
Today went well overall. Lots of great conversations took place alongside some… very silly ones lmao.
Here are some highlights from this morning’s lesson:
Me: *removes the wooden dicks from my bag and slaps them on the table*
Students collectively: o_O
That one student: nice
—
Me: *demonstrating how to put on a condom*
Also me: *puts it on wrong the first time, even though I practiced twice beforehand* So everyone, here we see what not to do. Let’s try that again
—
Me: *finished demonstration, holding a sheathed wooden dick* so what questions do we have about condoms before I unleash you all to practice on the models?
Student: *raises hand* yeah, I’m wondering how you’re feeling about your life choices up until this point?
Me: o-o
—
Student 1: *raises hand* miss, why are the condoms so… slimy?
Me: thats lubricant, it helps get rid of friction that might cause discomfort during intercourse.
Student 2: *raises hand* can you use lube on a slip and slide?
Me: *genuinely considering the possibility*
—
*during a conversation about excuses people have heard for not wearing condoms*
Student 1: I had a guy tell me he was too big to fit in a condom
Me: *opens a condom, puts entire forearm inside and pulls it up to my elbow* here’s why that’s not true
Student 2: I once saw a video of somebody that put an entire watermelon in a condom before, so unless that dude’s got a watermelon shlong, that’s cap.
Me: *slowly losing composure behind my mask* you have the right idea, but let’s refrain from using the word ‘shlong’ in class, please.
—
Me: what are some ideas of things we can say to people who try to pressure you into having unprotected sex?
Student 1: tell them you don’t want their penis cooties!!
Student 2: penis cooties? Pretty sure that’s just herpes
Me, internally: like… you’re not wrong
—
Me: alright everyone, time to return the wooden models up front. Remove the condoms by firmly grasping the base of the model and sliding it off. Don’t forget to throw it away please!
Student 1: FIRMLY GRASP IT
Student 2: idk if I can return it now, miss. I’ve become attached to mine(the wooden dick)
Student 3: yeah, most men are
Me: *trying to keep a straight face*
—
Student 1: miss, why are the wooden dicks so shiny when you take the condom off
Me: oh, that’s just the lubricant from the condom.
Student 2: so you know you put the condom on right if your dick is shiny after?
Student 3: yeah! If your dick is shiny, you’re doing it right
Me: *trying to keep my composure pt. 36716159* uh, yeah that’s not necessarily the case. You see, these models are wooden. Penises are not.
Student 3: then why is it called morning wood?
Me: *internally self destructs*
—
Me: *casually wiping off the lube from wooden dicks w/ a paper towel before returning them to my bag* so what questions do we have about the use of contraception?
Student: miss can you please not make eye contact with us while you do that?
The article makes a really good distinction on “escapist” gaming – gaming to escape or avoid IRL problems- which can exacerbate feeling of anxiety and lonliness when overdone and a sort of purposeful gaming – to work on creativity or high pressure situations.
This tracks for me personally. When i play aimlessly (ha) because i’ve had a bad day and i need to blow things up, there’s a definite shift between “Ok, i feel better” and “ugh I feel shitty again”. But when I’m playing because I want to learn a mechanic better, or I want to see where the story goes, I don’t really hit the feeling low part again.
(sometimes escapist play is what we all need! But sometimes it can be like “1 twinkie satisfies sugar craving. 14 twinkies makes me puke”)
