no one wants to hear it but love is earned after the initial infatuation. commitment is something u both mutually agree to and then from there it’s work. it’s not work like it’s a chore it’s jus work like it takes effort. to get good at these things takes practice. it takes practice to learn to communicate better and it takes practice to learn to love each other in the ways u need to be loved.
And it’s also terrifying! Like it’s the kind of vulnerability you can’t do while being all cool and in control of things, you have to like open up the really awkward, ugly inner part of yourself and hope that the other person is still into you.
Like you have to actually say – with words coming out of your mouth or hands or whatever way you use to directly communicate in person – what you would like from the other person! You have to say stuff like “hey the thing you did made me feel some ways and we have to address this like adults” and hope that the other person says “I see, yes I also think we should address this like adults” (instead of “no I didn’t” or “you’re overreacting” or other shut-down-ing shit that ruins lives).
Worth the read my oh my
this post hasn’t left my mind since i’ve first saw it
people jest but this is literally how i worked out i was gaslit for like 15 years of my life
People who “want trauma” are recognizing, on some level, that they were traumatized but in a way that’s not “socially recognized” as trauma. What they really want is for people to see that they’ve been traumatized and be on their side
I wanna expand on that for a moment. I’ve talked to a lot of trauma survivors about their backgrounds. And two things that are damn near universally true?
1. We almost all say “It wasn’t that bad” at first.
2. That statement is pretty much always a lie, be it to others or to yourself.
By the way, it’s also common for people with mental illnesses (including ptsd) to “wish” they were suffering from a physical illness such as cancer— because then they’d get some kind of acknowledgement that their body was hurting them in a way they could not control.
This can also be part of the motivation behind self harm. It’s an attempt to “prove” the seriousness of the mental or emotional damage by causing it to manifest into something with equally serious physical symptoms.
It makes me so angry that people think that children cannot be mentally ill … they’re little human beings with the same exact emotions as adults, they just have smaller bodies.
It isn’t that far fetched. His mom is amazing for being there for him.
hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don’t i know this? (i should mention i don’t like in america, i’m just confused)
there is delaware (state) and delaware (river)
both are equally strange
the state is a tiny little cryptid thing
the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.
the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.
i thought delaware was a place in ohio? why are there so many things named delaware?
delaware is too powerful
what the fuck
Wait what? I thought Delaware was a store with building supplies. Like paint, wood, nails and stuff?
THATS HOME DEPOT ???
I know home depot, but dude I don’t know anything about America mad have never been there. Are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to Delaware!?!
this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post
but at what cost
This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.
he WHAT? i thought he was from. w. wait. ???
delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful
From the UK- and what do you mean Delaware isn’t a type of ceramic?
it is now
@hellsite-hall-of-fame is it too early?
Isn’t delaware what they make computers on???
I think they meant Dell Ware, a specific computer type. We had a Dell computer once.
I thought Delaware was that famous singer they spoofed in Zootopia.
i am speechless
Don’t tell them about Rhode Island…
D 24567 A-F
I love breakfast but there is only one type of poptart and don’t like the roof of my mouth shredded to ribbons ?
X 0 D/C+A/F
sugar-coated sugar isn’t appealing. at all. pop-tarts are TOO SWEET. if I HAD to choose one of those cereals, 6 is possibly least offensive, but I’m not sure since I don’t eat any of them. ever.
give me savory food for breakfast. I’ll accept waffles or a bit of french toast on the side, but they’re not what I want to fill my stomach, I’ll just feel sick afterwards.
or yogurt. you could give me plain yogurt (don’t want the sugar added that comes with the flavors, it’s unnecessary, I’ll add stuff to it myself).
I have been an old man since I was a little girl, in case it wasn’t clear.
D0F. I seemingly can’t tolerate savory that early in the morning for some reason, but I’m a huge fan of french toast.
Well, unless if the waffles are from Waffle House, then it is D0A.
I dislike cereal of all varieties, regardless of sugar content. For some reason, pop tarts are fine.
we’re having a Snow Day, which is fine.
except it’s NOT bc the huge shift in atmospheric pressure has rendered my autistic brain completely useless for the foreseeable future. all services have been shut down. the roads are closed and so are my neural pathways
when you said atmospheric pressure shut down your brain it took me a second to realize you meant the atmosphere as in how tense school is compared to how calm home is, and not that autistic people have some kind of internal barometer that is attached to their brain.
nope, I’m literally talking about barometric pressure!
for those who aren’t aware, autistic/adhd brains are sensitive to barometric pressure shifts. changes in atmospheric pressure (like those caused by rain) effect our blood oxygen levels in a way that messes with our brains. sudden changes in weather can exacerbate our symptoms, making us irritable, lethargic, anxious, twitchy, overwhelmed etc, while our brains work overtime to adjust to the change. it’s just one of the ways that environmental factors other people take for granted (weather, noise, overhead music, lights, etc) can affect our lives in ways people don’t expect.
so yeah, we basically do carry around internal barometers, attached to very loud alarms!
… I knew the weather pressure gave me migraines and made my joints ache, but are you actually telling me it’s also the reason for why I can’t power through my migraines like I can at other times? What the fuck.
Okay, I managed to find something that wasn’t a link to someone’s blog, and is on the CHADD website. Migraines and ADHD can often be comorbid for a lot of us, which I kinda guessed might be a thing. And given the overlap between Autism and ADHD, I’d say it’s a safe bet to speculate that migraines are also more common in Autistic folk as well.
Migraines, unlike headaches, are a neurological disorder that affects multiple aspects of the body. Including our blood pressure and our ability to regulate emotion. They can also cause sensitivity to sound, light and movement. So things that you were handling just fine a while ago, become completely overwhelming. Mood swings and depression can sometimes be a warning sign that a migraine attack is coming (prodrome), and they can also happen after a migraine attack (postdrome) as the body comes down from whatever chemical rollercoaster of misery it’s just been on. And weather change is absolutely a trigger.
This is purely speculation on my part, but it might be possible that the weather changes are triggering silent migraines (migraine without headache). Which means some folks might actually have migraines and not be aware of it, but it might also mean they could benefit from migraine treatment to prevent their bodies going on aforementioned misery rollercoaster every time the weather changes. They might also not have migraines. But the trigger switch might be the same for certain things, and the meds used for treating migraines might be helpful in terms of regulation, in the same way how certain blood pressure meds have been shown to help ADHD better than some anti-depressants.
Hmm. I wonder. I might bring this up with my specialist and see if she has any info on it.
…well fuck. Knowing this sure would’ve made high school A LOT FUCKING EASIER.