I think it actually started this morning shortly after I arrived at work, but it mostly hit its prime during my company’s staff meeting.

Meaning I had an anxiety attack in a room of 9200 of my coworkers.

I’m… not doing well, mentally. I feel like the past two years have been the least mentally-stable years of my life, and it scares me. That’s not too surprising, given that the leader of my country is basically my worst nightmare come to life and I’m dealing with some crushing depression thanks to my brain not braining right.

My cats are recognizing my issues. They’ve been behaving better than they ever have in their lives, basically latching on to me at all times trying to help me. I’m glad they are helping me, as I’m having problems with maintaining my calm. I don’t really know how much longer I can deal with this; something has to change.

VEDA2018 #15

There are two parts to this video.

If you’re here for the regular vlogging updates, that’s the first part.
I had a really nasty anxiety attack Saturday night / Sunday morning. While preparing for my planned VEDA, I ended up recording some of my recovery. It is kind of painful for me to show (I ended up crying a bit remembering the feelings while editing), I think it is important to show what others are dealing with, usually in silence. Feel free to skip the last parts if you don’t want to watch that.